lunchtime in union sq.

Today I was sitting in the park, quietly noshing on a burrito and reading a magazine when a skinny version of Milton from Office Space walks up and asks if I’ll play some chess with him.

I decline.

Milton asks if instead he can suck on my toes.

I decline.

Milton asks why sucking on toes freaks women out. After all, he’s doing the sucking.

I stare at him, and slowly tuck my flip-flop clad feet under the table.

Milton asks if he can hold my hand saying “I’m into those too”.

I decline again.

Milton sits quietly for a second and then sings in a high, screechy falsetto “Ok, fine. But just remember you’re looo-v-eeely” before walking off.

…This is my life these days.