i'll bring the sweatbands

Granted, this is the lazy approach to posting. BUT, emails like these provide insight into how this mind of mine works. Also, let's all just take a brief moment to acknowledge that my friends are incredibly patient people when you consider that they have to put up with obsessions like these:

"...secretly I've been wanting to go on a Richard Simmons cruise. Mostly because I think it'd be hillaaaaaaaarious. The only problem is that I bet said cruise involves significantly more effort and significantly less eating than I'd like. These are only minor details, my friends. Just imagine, the OPPORTUNITY to see Mr. Simmons in his trademark shorts. Is there anything more fantastic in life? I think not. Someday, those shorts will be dipped in bronze and labeled as the 8th world wonder."

I'm so classy

The following conversation took place after some magic that involved layers, masks, and a little sumptin' sumptin that we like to call adjustment filters. Hot.

Sarah: not to be cocky, but I just totally rocked photoshop's world.

Jay: oh yeah?

Sarah: CS3 now feels the need to smoke a cigarette and thank me for a job well done.

Jay: oh wow.

Sarah: that's what it said.

(in)appropriate work conversations

S: The baby has dropped. It's in position! I'm gonna win (referring to the office pool for the delivery date).
Coworker: How long has it been in position??!
S: A week! ... AND she waddles.
Coworker: Eh. That's nothing... you can be dilated for like, three weeks.
S (gasps): Nooo.
Coworker: Yes.
S (looking shocked): I am never, never having babies.

tgfff (thank god for flip flops)

I spent this last week working NeoCon. An event that generally consists of furniture girls gone wild, and designers who spend an inordinate amount of time staring longingly at the flowing locks of this guy:

Unfortunately during events like this one, the sum total of my entire vocabulary usually winds up degenerating into only 2 words. Flip Flops.

Conversations basically went like this all week long:

Coworker: "Sarah, what do you feel like doing??"
Sarah: *long stare* "Flip flops"
Coworker: "Dinner first?"
Sarah: "No, jeans. And flip flops."
Coworker: "Dancing later?"
Sarah: "Does that involve standing? No, sitting. And flip flops."
Coworker: (while out dancing) "How did you get into the club?"
Sarah: *confused stare*
Coworker: "They're not letting people in with sandals."
Sarah: "I winked at the doorman. Not a chance in hell I'm wearing anything that resembles a stiletto."
Coworker: "But seriously, flip flops?"
Sarah: "Mmmmmmhmmmmm"