on becoming Mrs. Lee

S: I don’t think I can date him…
Uncle: Why?
S: Apart from the fact that he makes me want to toss my phone across the room?
Uncle: Well yeah, apart from that.
S: If I married him what would my name be?
Uncle (snorts and then starts giggling like a little girl): Sarah Lee! …but think about all the cute pet names!!!!!!!! DATE HIM.
S: Muffin…
Uncle: Cupcake…
S: Aww my little strudel…
Uncle: You could name your kids after pastries!
S: Ooo you’re a sassy little Tart aren’t you.

(this went on for a good 10 minutes)

lunchtime in union sq.

Today I was sitting in the park, quietly noshing on a burrito and reading a magazine when a skinny version of Milton from Office Space walks up and asks if I’ll play some chess with him.

I decline.

Milton asks if instead he can suck on my toes.

I decline.

Milton asks why sucking on toes freaks women out. After all, he’s doing the sucking.

I stare at him, and slowly tuck my flip-flop clad feet under the table.

Milton asks if he can hold my hand saying “I’m into those too”.

I decline again.

Milton sits quietly for a second and then sings in a high, screechy falsetto “Ok, fine. But just remember you’re looo-v-eeely” before walking off.

…This is my life these days.

VERY IMPORTANT

Today I made a folder entitled "VERY IMPORTANT SHIT" which was supposed to remind me not to tuck away said folder in a random box. Also, because labeling it this way made me smile. The problem is that now the folder is now all "Oh hello Mr. Robber, if you're going to steal something you should definitely steal me." Which makes me think that 1. I am a complete and total idiot sometimes and 2. that I should use my editing skills to interject a "^ Un" in front of the "Important" part just to toy with the hypothetical stealers of my identification.

If anyone feels like volunteering for the role of organizing my life, I promise to love you to pieces until the end of time. Really, not a bad deal at all if you think about it.

jeans lust

[image courtesy of NY Times]

Because I don’t like packing, and because I will no longer have to deal with my wardrobe choices being limited to jcrew, banana republic, and forever 21 (calm yourself. it’s just for bangley things) I’ve been getting rid of quite a bit. The wardrobe situation has been ESPECIALLY bad since Marshal Fields became Macys and the whole world collapsed around me. Which ok, fine. We live in West Michigan and no-one is really out to win the fashionista awards unless it results in a marriage proposal and a house with a white picket fence. Since I’m not looking for either at the moment, and because there's only so much shopping you can do over the internets, I guess I can relax. Also, it’s summer so clothes in general are less present than they might be in -5 degree weather. Come fall though, I have this sneaking suspicion that I’ll be entirely screwed.

Anyway, back to the point - getting rid of things. There’s actually not that much to get rid of. I’ve been fairly deliberate not to get too settled here, since I knew that in the long term I didn’t plan on staying. Which is partly why Rooms and I signed a lease that I could get out of at any point, and it’s also why there have been very few furniture purchases. Only a handful of what I have bought, or made, will be making the cut in the move. But somehow with the recent bout of pitching/donating, I managed to end up with exactly three pairs of jeans. When I realized that I’d effectively managed to whittle my wardrobe down to almost nothing, I had this moment of “take that you consumerist society!!!” This thought was followed with “day-um I’m low maintenance.” Until I got the new anthropologie catalog and remembered that my favoritest jeans that had the uncanny ability to make my ass look fiiiiiine had ripped from here to never-never land while climbing up on a roof. And now I want these. And these. And these.

lessons in innappropriate copy 101

This is what happens when you're tired and are given a somewhat ridiculous writing assignment that involves State and Local Governments, competitively bid contracts (hott!), and direction from the powers that be to inject some humor into the whole bit:

super sexy contracts

Ok, so maybe talking about contracts and cost savings isn't the most sexy subject to discuss. But it deserves a brief mention when that contract provides a competitively bid alternative to That Other Program (which we will not name).

BetterTogether delivers the products you want, at prices you can afford - which is a little bit sexy, if you're into that sort of thing.