clues that you may resemble someone else.

1. When you glance at a photo, assume it's them and then realize that no, it's you.

txting

The texts in my outbox:

"Unless it's Chase Crawford, I don't care."

"No idea! Want to do something?"

"Doubt I'll make it. Give everyone my love."

"Hungry for falafel?"

"This is just painful to watch."

"What's the verdict on Slumdog Millionaire?"

"Uh yeah. It was a completely pathetic showing."

"Cleaning my windows/contemplating my need to get a life."

"Hey girl, you and steph heading to church tonight?

"Perfect. Meet you guys there."

"In the lobby."

"Ri-Ri is wearing a mother effin bedazzled eye patch. Chris Brown needs to dump that, stat."

"Are you watching the AMA's? Her outfits make me angry."

"AND HER BIONIC WOMAN SHOULDER PADS?!"

"I love her for her talent. Her fashion sense will require some e'splain to her grandchildren."

"I live in the fashion capital of the world. She looked like an alien with an affection for hair product."

"So she's an alien pirate, Susan?"

"Hey love. Go ahead and buy tickets without me. I've seen it. You two will absolutely love it."

"Walking towards your place."

"You're grounded."

"The real name isn't much better. Olwyn."